To Sachi With Love

Aileen wrote me today to tell me she thinks Sachi is often unhappy. I guess MySpace has a tool that allows its users to express their current mood, and Sachi's is usually unhappy or angry. What should I make of that? Sachi is supposed to be the light of our lives ... she's a happy-go-lucky kid. But she's also sorely out of place in this world. She has so many friends, and everyone seems to adore her, yet she seems so lonely, as if she longs for something more.

I can relate. Before I met Dane, the only friends I knew and trusted were my sisters and brother. And even after we married, I'd longed for the company of my sisters — the honesty, the laughter, the fun. Then I met Kate, and she filled that void for me. And when Kate meets her own true love, I know she'll have less time for me, but that's OK, because I'll be so happy that she'll have finally found what she's been longing for.

I wish I could find a way to encourage Sachi to confide in me. But I'm her disciplinarian. I'm hard on her. I expect a lot of her, even though she's only 11. I understand that she feels misunderstood. But I cut her very little slack. I hope she knows it's because I love her and I want her to make something of herself. And for Sachi, more than anything else, I so want her to be truly happy.

I don't know how to let her know how I feel without making her suspicious and uncomfortable, but I've got to find a way. Because if I can't even tell her that I genuinely love her, how can she even think I'd understand her or be able to give her guidance?