Mama's Got a Brand-new Ride

Luxury came with a price tag of exactly $31,431.44, and I bought it — a 2008 Subaru Outback 2.5i Limited.

It replaces my trusty (albeit suddenly accident-prone) and totaled Honda Accord. It's my first-ever brand-spanking-new car, and she's a beauty — understated yet loaded to the hilt with power-adjustable heated driver and passenger seats, Home-Link rear-view mirror, heated side mirrors and windshield wiper de-icer, panoramic moonroof, remote engine start and woodgrain trim. The L.L. Bean package adds the perfect finishing touches with luxurious two-tone leather.

I actually enjoy driving so much more now that I often find myself taking the long way to get to my destination and seeking out new adventures. I don't even mind giving others a lift occasionally, but there are rules.

There will be no eating in it, no feet on the dashboard, seatbacks or doors; no writing mechanisms or beverages; no spewing of saliva or other bodily fluids; no bringing on board any unnecessary items or accessories or leaving behind of same; no leaning on or touching of the vehicle's exterior body and, in an effort to minimize unsightly finger, nose and footprints, there'll be no interior touching of the windows or glass surfaces; no climbing over seats for a better view or position. There's no fighting, arguing or complaining allowed; no messing around with the door locks or windows. Care must be taken by all passengers when exiting the vehicle to ensure that seat belts properly retract in order to avoid their inadvertent slamming by a closing door. There will be absolutely no commandeering of my radio or pre-programmed channels, CD player, satellite or auxiliary device without my express permission. They are, however, freely permitted to adjust the dual-temperature climate control to affect only their region of the interior for personal comfort.

The other night we went to QD for an ice-cream cone. Hännah decided to stay in the car while we ran in to place our order. Minutes later, Sachi announces in a concerned tone that a gaggle of guys just drove up, and one was talking to Hännah through an open window. Peering through the window at the storefront, I didn't recognize the young man, so I walked out to make sure everything was OK. He sees me approaching, smiles very politely and slowly takes two steps in reverse toward his own car. Then he turns quickly, gets in his car and speeds away.

"Who was that?" I asked Hännah as I re-entered the car.

"I don't know," she said. "He got out of his car and just started talking to me. I couldn't hear him, so I rolled down the window. Then he started getting really close to the car, so I told him, 'Let me just warn you right now not to lean on or even touch the car or my Mom will come flying out of that store and get really, really mad at you."

Your mama and her brand-new car appreciate you, Hännah. And you can ride in my Subaru anytime.